Parents play an intimate, subjective, protective role in the lives of their children. When they go into a classroom, parents are thrown back to their own childhoods. They sit facing the teacher in small desks and have subconscious feelings of being small and powerless. If school was difficult for them or they had traumatic experiences in school, those are the ghosts floating about.
from The Essential Conversation: What Parents and Teachers Can Learn From Each Other by Dr. Sara Lightfoot, Harvard
With the end of first quarter comes the time for Parent/Teacher Conference Week. Some teachers might dread these conversations, but in reality they have the potential for benefitting the work teachers do with students. With proper techniques, parents and teachers can have productive, beneficial conversations that benefit the child. Here are some tips on those techniques.
First of all, be aware of what parents expect. Here is a list of parent expectations that might help set teachers up for success.
Parents need teachers to:
- Know my child
- Set up clear expectations
- Know the curriculum
- Be available and keep me informed
- Let me know specifically how I can help
- Provide a learning environment safe from embarrassment
- Promote success for my child
- Provide fair and consistent discipline
- Alert me if my child is struggling
- Ask my advice about my child
Secondly, adapted from The First 60 Days of Teaching by Robert L. DeBruyn, here is a summary of tips to guide your preparation for parent/teacher conferences.
The Four P's of Parent/Teacher Conferences
#1 – Remember the Purposes of Conferences
- To deliver a progress report to parents.
*Have the data gathered for inspection by the parent.
*Feel free to address all areas of the student’s development, intellectual, social, physical, emotional.
- To receive info from parents that will help you teach the child more effectively.
*Consider letting the parents voice their concerns first. Suggest a framework for your conference time: The first 10 minutes on the parents’ concern and the last 10 minutes on your objectives.
- To establish a plan for reducing/eliminating an attitude/behavior that impedes the child’s growth.
*Frame the conference with the fact that you & the parents share a goal: the success of the student.
*Keep the focus on a positive plan for helping the student.
- To build a foundation of trust among all parties – parents, students, teachers, and the school.
- By effectively delivering/collecting info, and working together with students/families to solve problems, you gain their trust.
#2 – Spend time in Preparation for Conferences
- Pre-Conference
*Collect student’s work & figure student’s grade
*Make every effort to have had a previous positive contact with parents prior to the conference.
*Make arrangements for an interpreter if necessary.
- Physical Space
*Arrange adult chairs around a table.
*Place chairs outside the room for those waiting.
*Have a sign on the door with instructions. For example: Have a seat and enjoy browsing the materials that we use in class. I will come to get you for our appointment.
*Display student work.
*Have a clock at the table.
*Have water, cups, peppermints & tissues on the table.
*Have student work, textbooks, syllabus, MIGs, etc.
- Personal
*Dress professionally.
*Be friendly, welcoming, warm, appreciative.
*Be positive.
*Make direct eye contact.
*Control the conference.
#3 – Use Positive Talk during Conferences
- Paraphrasing – communicates that the listener has heard what the speaker said, understood what was said, and cares.
*In other words…
*You have several concerns…
- Clarifying – communicates that the listener has heard what the speaker said, BUT does NOT fully understand.
*Tell me a little more about…
*An example would help me understand…
*I’m curious to know more about…
- Mediational Questions – Hypothesize what might happen, analyze what worked or didn’t, imagine possibilities, compare/contrast what was planned with what ensued.
*What’s another way you might…?
*What do you think would happen if…?
*NOTE: “Why?” tends to elicit a defensive response.
- Make Suggestions –
*One thing I’ve learned/noticed is…
*A couple of things to keep in mind…
#4 – Follow a Process During the Conference
- Beginning
*Welcome the parent with a firm handshake or what might be culturally correct.
*Express appreciation/state your objective.
- Middle
*Keep the conversation on track.
*Be specific with comments.
*Use concrete examples to support comments.
*Do not place blame.
*Do not make comparisons or references to other class members or siblings.
*Do not be defensive.
*Avoid acronyms/jargon.
*Listen carefully to parents. – PAUSE, PROBE, PARAPHRASE!
*Focus on solutions and stress collaboration.
- End
*Check for understanding & agreement.
*Be sure you and the parent have a plan for follow-through.
NOTE: If the parent asks you to call every week with a progress report, suggest that you would welcome their weekly call or e-mail. This strategy helps you avoid the responsibility of remembering to make that weekly call.
*Reflect on the conversation and consider what you might do differently with the next conference.
*Follow up with a note when appropriate/necessary.
By following these tips teachers will be set for success and can make assumptions that conferences will be a positive experience for both parents and teachers and will ultimately benefit the student.
